ACHOO!
by BrainyBoy
Summary: This is to prove that there are other things in life than Kurtty stories. The X-men get ill... but it's going to get worse before it gets better.
1. Good Morning

Chapter One: Good Morning!

### Chapter One: Good Morning!

* * *

  
"Well, I think I can tell who cooked the eggs... Kurt, could you PLEASE try not to shed in them next time?" That was Scott, at breakfast with everyone else.  
  
A properly ashamed Kurt looked at Scott and replied, "I can't help it..." He couldn't hide the smile that crept up on his face as he said "...maybe I shouldn't make breakfast anymore! Best solution, _ja?_"  
  
Kurt suddenly fell to the ground as the chair somehow slid out from under him. By the looks of her, Jean-Grey had just telekinetically pulled it out... not that it wasn't well deserved, mind you. "Nice try, fuzzboy, but you aren't getting out of it that easy. Wear a raincoat next time."  
  
"'Fuzzboy?!?' _Ja_, I could take 'fuzzy elf," but 'Fuzzboy?' Think of all the scrapes I've gotten you out of..." replied a rather indignant Kurt.  
  
"And into." That was Evan's somewhat sarcastic reply. But he had a point. "Most of the things you got us out of were your fault in the first place!"  
  
Kurt just rolled his eyes. He knew Evan well enough to give up at this point. Continuing his breakfast, Kurt decided that salt would help the eggs; his fur didn't make a palatable substitute. "Hey Scott, could you please pass the salt?"  
  
"How? I can't reach it, I think Jean's the only one who could. Who set this table anyway?"  
  
"Jean. Ve figured that she could do it faster. Ach, she needs to remember that none of us can reach the center! I don't think Logan would like my hanging from the chandelier again..." Logan currently looked like he couldn't care less. Waking up at about six in the morining was not his idea of a good start to a day. "Hey Jean, could you-"  
  
"Sure thing. Here's the sausage, too." The platters in question were raised and carried to Kurt, with no viisible means of support. The X-Team was, however, quite used to such. Except...  
  
"It alvays creeps me out ven you do that! Knowing exactly vat I'm going to say... you could at least vait for me to finish asking, _ja_?" Kurt was getting used to it, however.  
  
"Sorry. Force of habit." Jean returned to her meal, and got another helping of scrambled eggs. Blue fur floated out, Jean glared at Kurt, and the fur fell on Kurt's head. "Here, thought you might want this back!" Scott chuckled as Jean did precicely what Scott wished he could have done.   
  
Kurt, glaring at Jean, brushed himself off. A significant amout of fur fell off him, considerably more than what Jean dumped. "It's spring. Can't help it. All animals shed."   
  
Scott sighed. "Well, as long as you don't shed too much in the hall... oh well, people will figure it came from your head, not your face!"  
  
Kurt made a face, but breakfast continued rather uneventfully until the Professor broke the silence. "Everybody needs to get ready for school. It's Attendance Day."  
  
Kurt looked confused. "Attendence day? Ve don't have that in Germany. Vat is it?"  
  
The Professor smiled and said, "Thanks for asking, I have the feeling that you are not alone in your consternation... although yours is a different reason."  
  
Scott replied, "Yeah, I didn't think it was until next week..."  
  
The Professor continued. "It was changed yesterday. Anyway, Kurt, Attendance Day is when the school checks exactly how many classroom materials are used in one day. They assume that the entire student body is there, so everybody has to come... ill or not. Attendance Day is famous for having one kid with a cold spread it to most of the school. But if someone doesn't come, then they won't be factored into the supply consumption ratios, and may not have enough supplies."  
  
"In english, that means that 'you better get there or you'll run out of paper.'" Scott's rather sarcastic coment was not unwelcome on the ears of Kurt.  
"I better get going, then..." Everybody left the table, except for Ororo, Logan, and the Professor.  
  
"I have a bad feeling about today... I hope nobody gets ill..." The Professor had reason to worry. Last year, the entire school was out for two days following, teachers included, due to a rampant version of the Stomach Flu. It would probably not happen again, that badly, but common colds WERE common..."  
  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
  
  
_Author's Note: This is my second attempt at fanfic. Bear with me here! I DO have plans for a chapter two! But feel free to speak your mind on the reviews section. I'll never learn anything if I don't hear comments from the less satisfied readers. ;-) This is my second version of the first chapter; I have changed it into HTML, fixed a few problems, etc. I'm glad people seem to like it... second chapter coming as soon as possible- if it's not up, then I'm writing it right now!_


	2. Algebra Class

Chapter Two: Algebra Class

### CHAPTER TWO: Algebra Class

  


* * *

  
Scott, at school, walked slowly to class. He wasn't a real fan of algebra, but he wanted to graduate. "Why me? Why do I have to take algebra?" he asked himself as he walked down the hall. He didn't really hate the class, it was more how it was presented.  
  
The two-minutes-to-class-bell BeeBeeBeeBeep!ed at him. He picked up the pace, careful not to let his sunglasses fall off of his nose. Making it with about 30 seconds to go, he slipped into his seat.  
  
BeeBeeBeeBeeBeeeeep! The bell beeped again, signaling the start of class. Scott took out his homework and book; he hoped he had gotten the former correct. The latter had a pencil in one of the pages; Scott opened the book to this bookmark and looked at his teacher, a teacher who did not seem very friendly to Scott.  
  
The teacher began. "Ah, I'm glad that we all seem to be here; it's attendance day, so I'll be measuring how much paper we use. DON'T WASTE ANY! OK, let's review last night's work on determinants. Mr. Summers, please demonstrate problem forty-three in the book."  
  
"_So the teacher really does hate me._" Those were the thoughts of the person in question as he dragged himself and his book up to the board. Hmm... problem 43... Scott wrote some numbers up on the board. Muttering to himself, he wrote (7*2)-(6*3), followed by the answer of "-4" on the line below.  
  
A kid in the front row sneezed, and Scott got it full in the back. "Hey! Bless you, but try not to aim for me." Scott wiped off his back as the teacher continued.  
  
"Error check, everyone! Anybody see anything wrong with Scott's work? Raise your hand and point out his mistakes." Nobody raised any hands. "Good. He did it correctly; there were no mistakes to catch. Very nice, Scott. I see you learned something. You're showing improvement. Ms. Marcielle? Problem one hundered twenty-nine."  
  
Amy Marcielle walked up to the board, dismayed. After a few steps, she got the answer of "42." "Error check?" Scott and James (another kid in class) raised their hands. "James McNorth?"  
  
"She did addition in the parenthesies, and forgot the sign table. She needs to flip all the signs and do multiplies, for an answer of -72."  
  
"Correct, James. Amy, I'm afraid he's right. You're going to have to work on this if you want to pass the test... which is next week."  
  
"_Stupid kid. Hope he isn't contagious._" Scott continued on this line of thought for a while, when, without warning, the fire alarm went off! This was Attendance Day. If they disturbed it with a drill, they'd have to throw out all their numbers and do it again... which suggested it wasn't a drill.  
  
"Everybody out! Follow me!" The math teacher led his panicked class out the door.  
  
Meanwhile, in Physical Education...  
  
  
  
--TO BE CONTUNUED--  
  
_Author's Note: I know the story is dragging a bit here. However, these chapters are rather short, so I should be able to get three or four in a day, making short work of explaining how the next chapter after they're all outside came about. It will get more interesting again, just wait a little! Scott's math teacher is loosely based on my own, and his classmate's problems with determinants ARE my own. Keep reading... this story will keep getting better!_


	3. Phys-Ed

Chapter Three: Phys-Ed   


### Chapter Three: Phys-Ed

  


* * *

  
Evan looked around, to make sure he wouldn't run into anyone, as he put on a burst of speed. For some reason, he was trying to beat Pietro Maximoff at a foot race, although he knew it was futile. But he still wanted to do his personal best- "all that counted," according to Mr. Crenshaw, his P.E. teacher.  
  
"Daniels. Oh, Daniels!" Pietro laughed as he came up behind Evan. "Lapped for the third time, almost? Not bad, all things considered. I would have thought I would have gone around you five times by now- but I'm holding back." The pair ran alongside each other for a bit, each despising the other one.  
  
_SPLASH!_ Suddenly, Evan was face-down in what had to be the grimiest, ugliest, smelliest mud puddle he had seen for a while. Lifting himself up and concealing the spikes that now protruded from his arms, which quickly retracted, he wiped his face off and glared at Pietro. He continued running.  
  
"PIETRO! OFF THE FIELD!" Mr. Crenshaw was turning as red in the face as Evan. "I SAW THAT! OFF TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE!" Unlike Principal Darkholme, who Evan knew was, in reality, the nemesis of Professor X, the teacher had no inclination to go easy on the speedster. "Evan, are you OK?"  
  
"Yeech... other than being covered with slime _almost_ slimier then Pietro, yes." Evan had spit the word _Pietro_ out as a vile word of unspeakable disgustingness, which about summed up Evan's opinions for the other mutant at the time. What _really_ made him sick was the knowledge that Pietro would be rewarded, and not penalized. "Coach? Can I-"  
  
"Head for the showers... don't want you getting sick from that slime!"  
  
"Thanks!" Evan ran off for the building, irritated mostly that he was doing so well- but now his run would be recorded as "incomplete." And it was all Pietro's fault... it was all he could do to jam his hands in his pockets before they shot out spikes. He continued running, when the fire alarm went off! Wiping his face on his hands, and his hands on his previously-clean shirt, and ditching the nine-inch-long spikes sitting in his pocket, he rejoined his class so they could head to the correct area. Wait, wasn't this Attendance Day? They'd NEVER have a Drill then... BAD news! He picked up the pace.  
  
  
Meanwhile, Kitty was having problems of her own...  
  
_**Author's Note:** I'm glad that I'm getting good reviews so far. I only have Jean, Kurt, Kitty, and Rouge left to end up in the fire drill... yes, these classes DO have relevance to the story! It will get rather funny pretty soon! _


	4. History

Chapter Four: History Class   


### Chapter Four: History Class

  


* * *

  
  
_Why couldn't I have taken Government instead?_ Kitty's thoughts were running along the line as she sunk lower and lower in her chair. _It's not MY fault I can't keep the Civil War and the Revolutionary War straight. It was a mistake for them to teach them both at the same time in first through third grade... AAUGH! I just hope I don't get called on._  
  
"Kitty Pryde! When did the Civil War end?"  
  
_Well, there goes the good day I was having. I wish I could just sink through the floor right now. It wouldn't really be a good idea, though..._ "Umm... Oh! Like, General Robert E. Lee surrendered to George Washington... oops... that's like... I mean... OK, Lee surrendered to General GRANT, right..."  
  
"Correct... the second time. Washington was the Revolutionary war! Stop getting those confused!"  
  
The class chuckled This wasn't the first time Kitty had made such mistakes.  
  
The kid behind Kitty coughed, without covering his mouth.  
  
"Eeew! Do you wanna, like, make ME sick too?" Kitty was disgusted... but made a mental note to phase her neck out next time he started to cough.  
  
Class continued, with Kitty discovering that she wasn't the only one getting things confused... a lot of others were too. "'Stonewall' Jackson crossed the Delaware." "Robert E. Lee held off the Redcoats." "General Grant participated in the Boston Tea Party." Small consolation, but Kitty felt better knowing that she wasn't the only one messing up.  
  
"Kitty! What date did the Revolutionary War st-"  
  
BREEBREEBREEBREE! The fire alarm went off! On _ATTENDANCE DAY?_ They'd have to recount... which suggested that this wasn't a drill!  
  
"Class, follow me! Single file!" The entire class followed Ms. Ranech out the door and into the field, that same kid behind Kitty coughing all the while.  
  
Jean-Grey wasn't having it any easier...  
  
  
  
--TO BE CONTINUED--  
  
_Author's Note: The saga of sickness continues! I've just thought up a new (and MUCH funnier) plot line that means that Rouge won't get sick. Only two more chapters before things get REALLY hectic. Enjoy, everyone... ;-) _


	5. Home-Ec

Chapter Five: Home-Ec   


###  Chapter Five: Home-Ec

  


* * *

  
"Now add the butter... I'll measure it out." Jean-Grey cut off the appropriate amount and added it to the batter. "Let's put it to a vote... who wants to add extra chips?"  
  
It was unanimous, as Jean knew it would be. Extra chocolate chip cookies... should be good! She knew her Home-ec teacher wouldn't mind. It was useful to read minds, although she never... well... rarely used the talent to cheat. (The Professor had made that QUITE clear, thank you very much.)  
  
Someone in the same area coughed. "Sorry about that, I tried to cover my mouth..." his voice said. _What they don't know can't hurt them, I never even tried_ was what was going on in his mind.  
  
Jean chose not to comment. She formed the dough, and another kid (Mike) put the cookies in the oven. _This power comes in useful sometimes, anyway._ Jean had just opened the door another inch, psychically; if he hadn't, Mike would have burned himself.  
  
10 minutes to go... 5... With 2 minutes to bake their cookies, the fire alarm went off!  
  
Jean scanned the teacher's mind. This was not a drill!  
  
Everybody fled the room, following the teacher.  
  
Almost as an afterthought, Jean turned off all the ovens telekinetically. _No need to make the fire worse..._  
  
  
  
Kurt wasn't having it much easier.  
  
--TO BE CONTINUED--  
  
_**Author's Note:** Sorry this took three days to get out; I've been busy. I know this is short, but I have a headache... Enjoy! Only a few more chapters before the *REAL* action!_


	6. Science

Chapter 6: Science

Chapter 6: Science

"Now class, we must be careful. We are working with live cultures, and some people are more susceptible to this than most. Be careful, I will NOT put up with anything!" Mr. Matthews was not in a good mood.

"Vat a grouch," said Kurt.

"Now, he's got a point there!" Rogue, Kurt's lab partner, spoke up. "I don't wanna get sick."

Mr. Matthews passed out the supplies. "Read the directions and start!"

They started uneventfully, class going smoothly. Suddenly, the fire alarm went off! The team next to Kurt and Rouge dropped their culture.

"Clean that up _fast_ and get out of here! We don't want that in the school." Mr. Matthews had a point. "Everyone else- line up and leave!"

Kurt, Rogue, and the rest of the class left, with Rogue muttering something about "not on Attendance day... this is real..."

-=TO BE CONTINUED=-

__

Author's note: Sorry this was so long in coming. Next: the fire "drill" explained!


	7. Fire?

Chapter 7: Fire

Chapter 7: Fire?

Chaos! The entire school was evacuating into the athletic area, as was only proper.

__

"No sign of smoke or flames…" Jean Grey noted to the Professor. Telepathically, of course. _"It may be a false. Whoops- the headcount finished, we can talk."_

The X-Team quickly gathered and talked… all at once.

"…on attendance day…" "like, I was doing well…" "I'm a mess…" "Glad I'm outta class… what's going on?" Similarly useless comments were being said through the whole X-Team, until Scott took center stage.

"Calm down, everyone!" Scott was doing his usual leadership thing again. "I don't see a fire, so it's a drill or a false al-"

The sound of Principal Darkholme, a.k.a. Mystique, cut him off. Bullhorn in one hand and… uh… Scott strained to make out whose hand she had a white-knuckle grip on. Scott resumed talking: "Jean, who's-"

"It's Todd Tolansky…" Jean didn't wait for him to finish the sentence.

"Toad? Really?"

"**LISTEN UP, EVERYONE!**" Principal Darkholme had her megaphone on and was using it. **"MEET OUR FALSE ALARMER! TODD TOLANSKY HAS TAKEN YOU ALL FROM CLASS- WHAT DO YOU WISH TO SAY TO HIM?" **About half the students BOO-ed him, the other half cheering. "Way to go, Todd!" Typical. Principal Darkholme ignored them all and held Tolansky's hand high, so all could see the purple stain. **"ALL ALARMS ARE BOOBYTRAPPED! FALSE-ALARMERS TO BE, REMEMBER THIS! I HAVE FOUND OUR FALSE-ALARMER, YOU CAN ALL GO BACK TO CLASS." **Sighs of relief, as well as sighs of disappointment were heard as the students filed back to class.

Todd walked back with Principal Darkholme, as did the rest of the Brotherhood, to Darkholme's Office…

__

Author's Note: A false alarm. Yep. And the purple ink is based on real life. I'm picking up the pace on writing; we're starting to get to the GOOD part… see ya soon!


End file.
